Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Suddenly Serious, Almost Overnight

About four months into our relationship, Brown went from a guy I saw sporadically to a guy who wanted me around him all the time. I was too "giddy" (another of Brown's favorite words) to notice that his behavior had completely changed.

Truth be told, I was preoccupied.

I'd just quit my job at the Lunacy Network without having a new job lined up. So now, I was temping for 55-65 percent of my full-time salary, while I tried in vain to find someone, anyone to give me a real job that didn't have the word secretary in the title.

Brown proved to be the most beautiful distraction.

He picked me up for a romantic drive in the real Beverly Hills, which I didn't even know existed. I'd only been to "the flats" – the palm-trees-and-Rodeo-Drive areas I'd seen in the movies. Brown took me high up into the canyon roads that threaded through the Hollywood Hills, past gorgeous mansions that were 10 miles and a world away from my one-bedroom Mar Vista life. We pointed out the mansions where we wished we could live, ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant and made magnificent love in my less-than-magnificent apartment.

There was only one damper on our day.

Brown said, "You know there's only one thing that bothers me about you. You know what that is?"

"I'm messy, I'm disorganized, I'm a crybaby, and I don't cook?" I ventured helpfully.

"You want kids." He looked me dead in the eyes. "You realize I can't have any more kids, don't you?"

"I'm hoping for divine intervention," I replied. I wasn't going to let a little elephant like his vasectomy stand between me and my dream of ultimate blissful housewifeness.

Brown snorted. "Yeah, well, it'll have to be something like that. Baby, I had an operation by the foremost physician in his field."

I said nothing, but thought to myself, If he could just soften to the idea of having two – only two. My raised-Catholic mind wanted seven babies, but I'd settle for two. His operation could be reversed. He just had to be willing to do it.

A week later, after one of our marathon love-making sessions, when it felt like the planets were colliding, waterfalls were crashing, butterflies were flitting and birds were singing, I confessed that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and he declared that he was never going to let me get away from him.

A week after that, he spent an entire day at my house. I was floating so high on Brown's cloud, I even cooked for him. Brown was floating on a cloud too, because he asked me to move in with him.

He was going to move from his current place, a large apartment in a once-nice neighborhood that was rapidly turning hood. And when that happened, he wanted me by his side. I was so surprised, I almost dropped a dish.

I asked him if he was burnt out by marriage, and his answer surprised me. He had loved being married, he wanted to be married, he liked having someone to come home to. And even though he'd just had a sleepover and all-day-over at my place, he invited me to spend the night at his.

(Brown Diaries Part 8 of 18: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 | Lessons Learned 1-3: 1 2 3)

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10 comments:

jb said...

Hi Anita

I first wanted to come by and say thank-you for the kind words you left me. You can’t imagine how much it truly means to me. I realize it’s hard to get to everyone all the time but I hope that when I do come by to leave one of my long winded comments it hits the spot. I also want to extend my thanks to you for taking the time to go vote on the bloggers choice stuff, I figure if it’s meant to be it will happen but your support is really nice. You’re so kind, thanks.

Anita you’re a really amazing women… for real love….I’ve learned in the last year what true empathy and compassion is thru all of you. I never imagined I could feel so good in the company of such incredibly kind generous strangers. I remember reading your first story of course thinking it was happening and you told me that it was your past. It was so nice how you told me without making feel like a total blonde hahaha. I was really concerned that you where all messed up and I just wanted to leave some of my words of wisdom for you to hold onto to get you thru your dark times. To know that your where doing fine and that was just your past gave me a sense of relief.

Another thing you’re an amazing story teller. I just love how you can be so honest and true to yourself and what’s happened. I’ve been inspired by you to keep at it. It’s hard to explain how something that I never thought could happen to me happened to me. Anita keep it up because without you we’d all be a little further behind.

With Great Love
JB

If you ever need anything I’d be more then happy to oblige. I have family that lives in California. My uncles live in Santa Clara I thinks it that it’s Santa something ….I’ll find out for sure. It’s a small world Anita we are all closer then we all think.

izzie said...

Jb says it all...
Besides that... you know i just loooove to read you don't you?
You're an example, I trully admire you.

Love,

Christine A. Mayo said...

I am hooked, waiting for the next chapter, continue to bless others by revealing yourself.....I appreciate that!.Be Blessed!

sowheresmygirlfriend said...

awesome blog - i hope "brown" isn't a codeword for this guy working for UPS...

Prometheus said...

Very interesting read. Your description of the love making was pretty awesome.

I think I need to read some older posts to get up to speed with how you got to where you are now though...

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

I know how important it is for a woman to have her own babies. But did you try asking him why in the first place he had that operation? Maybe he has stronger reasons which need understanding.

Kisses.

Don't Be a Slut said...

JB & Izze - thanks for the support, as always. You are what makes blogging beautiful.

Christine - glad you're liking it.

Sowheresmygirlfriend - Yes, "Brown" is codeword for the UPS guy. I named him Brown for two reasons: 1) he worked at UPS and 2) one of his many nicknames for me was "Beige," so I thought I'd return the favor.

Luscious - you're so smart. You'll have to stay tuned to find out how right you are.

Paris said...

Good reading...you have alot of us anxious for what is next...

LLnL said...

I don't visit your site often enough but i have to tell you it is kind of exciting reading you stories backwards. Just to let you know I'm on the way to fave you on Technorati.

Your blog really is special. It helps to relive some of my old memories that either touched me or haunted me through out the years. It helps to remember that although i had a lot of sexual experience I was never a slut. I was just a girl he enjoyed sex and was open to finding love.

Cheron L. Hall said...

WOw....so glad I stumbled upon your blog...I have to agree with everyone else, especially JB...You've encouraged me greatly to express myself more fully and take my writing more seriously...sometimes my blogs drift off into ghetto nonsense and meaningless stories...I also find it hard to add those extra details...worrying about what friends or people who think they know me would think if they stumbled upon my blog...

thank you so much for sharing...I've been spending the entire day reading your blogs...can't believe it...

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