Don't Be a Slut's Best of the Blogosphere - April 2011

I think of Don't Be a Slut as an electronic clothesline. I imagine that in days of yore, women would gather and gossip in backyards or tenement courtyards as they hung up and took down their families' clothing. And that's how I think of this blog, as a safe place for women (and men) to get together and explore intimate issues.

In that spirit of sharing, I bring you my every-so-often recommendations of personal and relationship blogs that I find interesting.

One of my regular reads: Sex, Lies & Dating in the City recounts the online-dating adventures of Simone, a late thirties/early forties woman in NYC. She doesn't know it, but her blog inspired me to put a profile up on OKCupid. One of my favorite posts from last week was "Don't Talk to Her, She's a Slut."

A beautifully written male dating blog: F*cking in Brooklyn is an interesting and provocative read that I just discovered this month. Brother-man can write. (And if he looks anything like his picture, he's easy on the eyes, too.) A post that's near and dear to my heart is, "Are Women Who Have Sex on the First Date 'Sluts?'"

A relative newcomer: Blogging Bernice is a 40-something single mom who is grappling with the aftermath of her divorce as she takes the plunge back into the dating world.

A cute, international black chick: Magda of Retromus-ik is a pretty young woman of Nigerian descent who lives in Montreal, Canada. She writes slice-of-life posts, such as "Dissing over the net: when web debates turn sour."

A well-adjusted guy from Ireland: I've recently discovered Mind of Mine, a blog that makes me smile. Ian comes across as young and happy and having tons of fun. I love this post about coming out as gay to a mom and siblings who were completely cool with it.

Relationship blog lists: "7 Personal Relationship Blogs That Rock" highlights some interesting and varied choices from Arlene on RelationshipTalk.net. And "Top 50 Blogs to Help Your Personal Relationships" features blogs about romantic relationships, divorce, families and self-development. Thanks to both blogs for featuring Don't Be a Slut.

Those are my discoveries. Anyone else have any favorite personal or relationship blogs to recommend?

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Interview, Awards and Blog Love

Over the last couple of months, I've been silently bathing in the glow of blog love. I didn't want to interrupt my Virginity Diaries, so I saved it all up to share with you once I wrapped up that chapter. So, drumroll please, let the thank-yous and paying it forward begin.

My first in-depth interview, courtesy of Paula's Pleasure Blog
Paula is a mother of two grown children, and she hosts lingerie parties. Her blog features a variety of sex-education articles and interviews, and I was honored when she asked to explore why I started Don’t Be A Slut.
>> Read the complete interview

The Lemonade Stand Award, courtesy of Black.girl.Thoughts
Cheron, author of Black.girl.Thoughts, stands out in my mind for two reasons: 1) she's got a kick-ass blog and 2) she was the first person to read Don't Be a Slut start-to-finish in one afternoon ... and to comment on almost every single post while I marveled at her tenacity.

Like me, she's an autobiographical blogger, and her story of how she lost her virginity is tragic, sad and painfully real.

I'm passing the illustrious Lemonade Stand Award on to:

• Passion Fruit: paintings and things by Brianna McCarthy: Bri is a wonderful artist. Her portraits of beautiful, big-eyed black girls always make me smile.



• His First 100 Days: Russell's half of this his-and-hers blog chronicles the first 100 days of a new marriage. But the kissing, cuddling, bickering and honeymooning take an unexpectedly dramatic turn when his wife gets arrested and does time in the big house.

Bri & Russell, congrats! Here's how to pass the Lemonade Award on:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude and/or gratitude.
3. Link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Nominate your favorites, and link to this post.

The Superior Scribbler Award, courtesy of It's Gonna Take More Than a Hamburger to Make Me Happy
Nothing makes me guffaw louder than J.B.'s blog. J.B. works in the restaurant industry, and these days every weird person in the universe, from Cross-Dressing Santa to Strawberry Shortcake, is causing her strife.

I'm passing the award on to:

• Black.girl.Thoughts. As I mentioned above, she's a great writer.


• The Dirty Girl Diaries: I just discovered this blog today. It's the story of a 1970s NYC wild child who was bartending in a strip bar by age 17. Jodi's a great writer. You can taste the cheap champagne, smell the musk and hear the cacophony.

Jodi & Cheron, here are the Superior Scribbler blog rules:

1. Pass the award on to 5 deserving bloggy friends.
2. Name the person who passed the award on to you & link back to his or her blog.
3. Display the award on your blog.
4. Link to this post which explains how the award came to be & add your name to the Mr. Linky List at the end of that post.

Shout-Outs, Awards and Kudos - Thanks!

Over the last few weeks, I've been honored with awards and kudos from a few bloggers. I wanted to get Brown out of my system before I acknowledged all the blog love, so here's a slightly belated recap.

Featured Blog of the Week - Hooray! Made my Week!

Last week, I got a big surprise from one of my favorite bloggers - J.B. of It's Gonna Take More Than a Hamburger to Make Me Happy fame. She made Don't Be a Slut her featured blog of the week. It was such a delicious surprise.

I love J.B.'s blog. She's a good writer, she's funny and there's something really heartfelt about her writing. Most of her stories take place in restaurants. She works in a deli, and her family used to own a restaurant. So she's got lots of stories about insane customers. My favorite is her rant about mock chicken.

She's also got her own Brown-like saga, about her breakup with her ex.

Kreativ Blogger Award

Enchantress of Days of My Life blog was kind enough to give me the Kreativ Blogger Award. She lives in Atlanta and has a warm-hearted, slice-of-life blog.

The rules are:
1. Post the award on your blog and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. List seven things you love.
3. Pass it on! List seven blogs you love and let those people know you've given them the award.

Seven Things I Love

1. Blogging
2. Chocolate
3. Mindless TV (America's Next Top Model, Oprah, Grey's Anatomy)
4. The Pacific Ocean
5. My church
6. Lingerie
7. Hummingbirds and flowers

Seven Blogs I Love
Since the name of the blog is "Kreativ," I've tried to pick blogs that are unusual or different in some way and that haven't, as far as I know, been honored with this award in the past.

1. The Recessionista - her blog is about shopping, dining, dressing and living well on the cheap. She doesn't just dish about deals, she includes witty commentary.


2. The Lotus Sutra Chronicles - a travel diary of sorts, it features interesting photos and observations from an American(?) woman who currently lives in Korea (and is planning to head to Europe soon).


3. Jane Minogue - Huffington Post - an interesting take on women's issues that ties today's hot topics back to their historical corollaries in medieval Europe.


4. The Spicy Princess - Shhhh, this blog is everything you ever wanted to know about the mechanics of sex but were too embarrassed to ask. The Spicy Princess offers tips on how to please your partner as well as reviews of various sensual products.


5. Luscious Sealed Lips - part dialogue, part stream of consciousness, part poetry, part narrative, this blog is about love, relationships and life.


6. How I Changed Careers - essentially a business blog, but with a more personal twist. An entrepreneur sharing how he went from practicing law to launching his own line of body-care products.


7. Remembering Paris - a survivor of child sexual abuse, incest and domestic violence tells her story.

Makes My Heart Smile Award
RETROMUS-IK awarded me the Makes My Heart Smile award, naming Don't be a Slut as one of her top 10 favorites. Thanks a bunch, Retro!

My First Blog Award - I'm officially an Honest Scrap!

Yesterday, I got an unexpected kiss from Luscious Sealed Lips, who bestowed upon me my very first blog award, The Honest Scrap. So now that I am an Honest Scrap, I must abide by two rules:

1. List 10 honest and interesting things about yourself.
2. Honor 7 other bloggers with the award.

10 Honest and Interesting Things About Myself

1. I started blogging almost by accident. Before I started writing Don't Be a Slut in October, I didn't even follow blogs.
   
2. In 2005, I did a weight-loss infomercial that ran on TV. Since then, I've gained 85 pounds. How embarrassing!
   
3. I haven't had sex since 2006. I love sex. I'm starting to hump – oops, I mean – climb the walls.
   
4. I originally intended for this blog to be completely anonymous, but thanks to Facebook, I'm completely out in the open, and it actually feels good.
   
5. I love writing about me, and I hate writing about software (my day job for the last 10 years).
   
6. Deep down, I still want to be an actress. But not enough to go bankrupt while I waste my life on crap audition after crap audition.
   
7. A few days ago, I woke up to a find a live mouse swimming in my toilet. Didn't have the heart to flush him myself, so I called my landlord. Cowardly, but effective.
   
8. I just spent the last six weeks or so moving through a really dark depression. Lots of tears, gallons of self pity, truckloads of chocolate. I'm better (and fatter) now.
   
9. I'm a deeply spiritual person, but sometimes I wonder if spirituality and religion are not just a gigantic pacifier we use just to survive the vicissitudes of life.
   
10. I'm a curious mix of studious nerd, earnest do-gooder, intolerant bitch and soft-hearted artist. Makes for an interesting life.

Blogs I'm Honoring
Seven was a bit much. Drumroll please, here are my two picks for blogs that are both deeply personal and honest.

1. My Girlfriend is an Escort: The tale of a man who is in love with a woman whose job is a little ... well, interesting. I give him kudos for telling his story and for dealing with reader comments, which range from kind to cruel.
   
2. Makes Me Wanna Holler: It's a roses and warts look at fatherhood and marriage, from dealing with your wife's granny panties to going Bill Cosby on your messy son to rescuing your daughter from a life-threatening allergic reaction.

Don't Be a Slut's Best of the Blogosphere - 2/7/09

It's that time again ... my whenever-I-feel-like it recap of some of the blogs and blog posts that have stuck in my mind over the last few weeks.

Best Ridiculous Stripper Story
It's nowhere near as traumatic as the time I was heckled by a strip-club clown, and it's even funnier when you consider the source. Jennifer is a sweet, loving, 20-something wife who wants a baby really, really bad – so bad she’s devoted an entire blog to how much she wants a baby.

My favorite Baby Makin(g) Machine posts are the ones where she contemplates things like buying shoes for her unborn son, making hair ribbons for her unborn daughter, or wearing a different bikini every day of the week during a romantic cruise with her hubby.

But it's nice to know I'm not the only woman who's run afoul of America's stripper obsession. Jennifer, armed with a Carmen Electra video, decides to get in shape by stripping. Hijinks ensue.

Good Man of the Month
Even though I've been single for a decade, it's nice to know that real men and real marriages do exist. Meet Eric, a husband and father of two from NYC. His blog, Makes Me Wanna Holler, is his take on the joys, pains and pressures of being a family man. One day he might describe how he shared President Obama's inauguration with his kids. Another day, he might grumble about his wife's granny panties.

But through it all, you see a dad and a husband who really loves his family.

That love is graphically demonstrated in my favorite post, when Eric takes his wife out on a date. I won't give away any plot points, but a man really has to love a woman to go through what he went through just to put a smile on his wife's face.

Scholarly and Thought Provoking, Without Being Strident
One of my favorite blogs is Saroj on the Issues. Saroj is a smart, pretty grad student who writes Facebook status messages like "Saroj is reading about signal transduction pathways...my favorite?"

But don't worry, her blog isn't dry and academic.

Saroj writes about current events, pop culture and politics, but not in an insulting me vs. them way. She doesn't just spout off at the mouth. She researches. She thinks things through. She makes interesting arguments and points.

So in honor of my current love affair with Facebook, here's Saroj's essay on The Emerging Facebook Culture.

Pretty, Pretty Pictures
Not all blogs are as verbose as mine. Some bloggers are visual artists who speak in photos and paintings. In homage to all of them, check out these beautiful miniature portraits of women for a dollhouse.

And now, Back to my sex Life
Now that I've wrapped up my casting-couch horror stories, I haven't figured out what to talk about next.

• Do you want me to pick up where the casting couch left off, and tell you about the semi-homeless man I dated immediately after?
• Do you want to know more about who I am today and my decade of near-celibacy?
• Or go back in time to my college boyfriend, who just happened to be four years younger than my dad?

Leave a comment and let me know...

Don't Be a Slut's Best of the Blogosphere - 12/26/08

I have a confession to make: I'm new to the blogosphere. Before I started blogging two months ago, I didn't read blogs and had absolutely no idea what all the fuss was about.

So before I get back to the business at hand – exposing the sordid, candid, funny and not-so-fun details of my past slutty life – I'd like to introduce some of the blog posts that have stuck in my head over the last week or so:

• Best battle of smart vs. pretty: I Enjoy Being a Girl from Cheri Block Sabraw - Notes from Around the Block. It's a funny story about a junior-high dork vs. the junior-high beauty. Cheri's a great writer and storyteller, which is why her blog has such a huge following.
  
  
• Confirmation of why I started this blog: Found a young college graduate who was wondering aloud if the time had come to start having sex – mostly because guys in the past dumped her when she wouldn't. I say: Girl, keep your panties on, please!
  
  
• Funniest video about premature ejaculation: I found this off-color, adolescent-boy-humor music-video parody on Bello Volo, and it totally cracked me up. Bello Volo covers everything from the writer shaving his head to a blow-by-blow account of trying to find fast food on Xmas to political commentary. Oh, and he also posted a glowing review of Don't Be a Slut.