Monday, September 20, 2010

Chump Change

From my point of view, the first chink in my relationship with Conspiracy Theory appeared the first time we made love, when he tricked me into his bed. But from his perspective, the first chink in our relationship appeared months later, when, in his words, I "tried to chump him."

He was right. I did try to chump him.

But my intentions were pure. Or as pure as they can be when they are driven by fear.

You see, I was about one year into my relationship with Dollar, the abusive psychic. She had recently eloped. I sent her off to her new life in New Jersey with a hug, a greeting card and a small amount of cash. It was the closest thing she had to a bridal shower, because she literally ran away from home without her family's blessing.

As soon as she got married, her demands for money increased exponentially. Every time the phone rang, she was on the other end, asking for $200 or $300 or whatever amount she claimed was required to wash away whatever new affliction she claimed I was cursed with.

I seethed with anger. It wasn't lost on me that she was asking for more and more money, and I blamed her new husband. He must be putting her up to it.

Then, I would push those thoughts aside. She was my friend. Surely she couldn't be ripping me off. And what would happen if I didn't do as she asked? She would speak in this dire, spooky voice about how bad my life would be if the Spirits didn't get what they needed. Consequently, I would give her whatever money I had or take out a credit-card cash advance.

She wanted $500. I didn't have it, and I couldn't charge it. I can't remember what the curse was this particular time. On one occasion, the curse was that my mother would die. Another time, my darling four-year-old foster niece was in jeopardy.

"Your boyfriend has the money. Ask him for it."

Afraid of whatever dark dilemma she prophesied, I did.

Conspiracy didn't cuss me out. But he didn't give me $500, either.

I lied to him regarding what it was for, something Dollar probably coached me on beforehand.

Conspiracy wasn't having it. He was firm in his no, and he didn't make a big scene about it. But now he secretly saw me as a gold-digging predator, the same way that I secretly saw him as a liar I couldn't completely trust.

Conspiracy Diaries Part 7 of 25 (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25)
Conspiracy Lessons Learned 1-4 (1 2 3 4)


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11 comments:

healy said...

I find it funny. . .my BF was like that! some sort of a sh** and I hate it

Devin said...

Just out of curiosity... did you have any thoughts about the possible consequences of asking Conspiracy Theory for the money before doing so?

Don't Be a Slut said...

@healy - so glad to have you as a regular reader!

@devin - nope, I honestly thought he would give it to me. Sometimes we women overestimate our magic powers.

Alpha Za said...

good on you, I can never turn down a friend for money. I'm a chump.

Arlene said...

Oooh, your abusive psychic is scary, I once meet one like that in SF. It was really scary walking away with her all of the ill fortune waiting for me in my near and far futures, if I don't come and consult with her.
I thought about her for years afterwards. BTW, nothing she said was true, of course...
Anyway, I have been looking for an email so that I can contact you (about something else) and can't find one. I would appreciate if you contacted me via my blog.
Thanks.

Enigma Jones said...

I just started reading yesterday and not only am I all caught up, but I'm hooked as well!!

As another good-girl-gone bad (I haven't gotten back to good just yet, but I'm working on it) your candidness is refreshing.

Can't wait to read more!

Angie said...

I'm not sure if I've commented here before, but I read every post in one sitting. This should become a book...

Don't Be a Slut said...

@Enigma & @Angie, welcome to my blog! I'm always amazed when people stop by and read all my posts. You get the gold star this week!

jb said...

Anita,

Just dropping by to say hello and to see how you're doing. Looks like I'm not the only one who's not blogging as often as before. :) Anyway, hope you're great.

Peace,
JB

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I really love this entry, I knew it also happened to me once. The difference is that I am the guy and the girl thinks I am a gold digger when I am not. I was too pissed about it but then I got over that girl.

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