Chump Change

From my point of view, the first chink in my relationship with Conspiracy Theory appeared the first time we made love, when he tricked me into his bed. But from his perspective, the first chink in our relationship appeared months later, when, in his words, I "tried to chump him."

He was right. I did try to chump him.

But my intentions were pure. Or as pure as they can be when they are driven by fear.

You see, I was about one year into my relationship with Dollar, the abusive psychic. She had recently eloped. I sent her off to her new life in New Jersey with a hug, a greeting card and a small amount of cash. It was the closest thing she had to a bridal shower, because she literally ran away from home without her family's blessing.

As soon as she got married, her demands for money increased exponentially. Every time the phone rang, she was on the other end, asking for $200 or $300 or whatever amount she claimed was required to wash away whatever new affliction she claimed I was cursed with.

I seethed with anger. It wasn't lost on me that she was asking for more and more money, and I blamed her new husband. He must be putting her up to it.

Then, I would push those thoughts aside. She was my friend. Surely she couldn't be ripping me off. And what would happen if I didn't do as she asked? She would speak in this dire, spooky voice about how bad my life would be if the Spirits didn't get what they needed. Consequently, I would give her whatever money I had or take out a credit-card cash advance.

She wanted $500. I didn't have it, and I couldn't charge it. I can't remember what the curse was this particular time. On one occasion, the curse was that my mother would die. Another time, my darling four-year-old foster niece was in jeopardy.

"Your boyfriend has the money. Ask him for it."

Afraid of whatever dark dilemma she prophesied, I did.

Conspiracy didn't cuss me out. But he didn't give me $500, either.

I lied to him regarding what it was for, something Dollar probably coached me on beforehand.

Conspiracy wasn't having it. He was firm in his no, and he didn't make a big scene about it. But now he secretly saw me as a gold-digging predator, the same way that I secretly saw him as a liar I couldn't completely trust.

Conspiracy Diaries Part 7 of 25 (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25)
Conspiracy Lessons Learned 1-4 (1 2 3 4)

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